So just a couple of hours ago I started watching Grey’s Anatomy. I can’t believe I didn’t watch it before; it’s such an amazing show! So much drama, so exciting, so interesting… But how realistic is the show? The fact that the interns get treated like nothing kinda scares me. Not to mention all the drama that happens. I don’t really have a problem with watching them do surgeries, but there are some cases that they work on that make me squirm a bit and just go, “Wow, that is just kinda disgusting…” Not to mention it makes me sad to see a patient upset. I know it’s just a TV show, but things like that happen all the time. I don’t know how doctors deal with seeing people lose lives in a split second. But when a life is saved, the feeling must be infinitely warm and rewarding. I guess that’s why they say doctors have a cold heart. Not just that, but turning patients away at times also. I don’t know how you can turn someone away if their life is on the line. The thought is disturbing, but I’ve been told that is the way the world works. I’ve only seen the first three episodes, but I can say that I really like Izzy’s compassion for her patients; she truly wants to help them. I feel that many doctors lose that vision these days, the goal of simply saving lives at risk. Many go into the occupation for the money, the pride, the respect, you name it, the list is endless. I don’t know as of now if I can deal with all the drama that goes on in a hospital, but I definitely would not mind helping people out. School is so difficult though, and I don’t know just how much longer I can go on. The competition is rough, and it only goes uphill from here. Sometimes I just want to give up. The easiest year has just ended. I know exactly what I’m getting myself into and how difficult things will be from here on out as all of us pre-meds walk into the fire, but for some reason, I can’t let go of this dream just yet…

As I sit here listening to Coldplay’s “The Scientist,” I’m reflecting on my first year in college. It has been simply amazing. Amazing doesn’t even begin to explain how awesome it’s been.

Never in my life have I seen so much of the world and thought so much about life. In just one school year, I’ve grown so much in the way I think and the way I handle things. I’ve realized there is so much more to life than just studying. The world is so big, and there’s so much to explore, so many people to meet, so many things to try out. There were so many firsts this year I don’t even know where to begin. I’ve grown up in the suburbs my entire life, a place I believe appears perfect on the outside. Every lawn is perfectly maintained, everyone smiles on the outside… it’s like paradise. The conditions of college were definitely different; I saw the ugly realities of the world outside of the bubble I lived in. I also found out that there is so much more to the life I lived in the suburbs, and definitely so much more to learn. Before, all I ever did was study, go out with friends, go to the beach, go to the mall, walk in the park, etc. In college, I discovered a part of me I had never known before, multiple parts in fact, let it be strengths or weaknesses.

It’s difficult to pick a best memory in my freshman year. There were so many good times. I guess you can say my favorite thing this year was meeting so many interesting people. I met the greatest people, so diverse in their background and personalities. I got to know Karie better; we went to the same high school and were in the same classes but never got to know each other. We got to know each other extremely well this year and became close. I also met Chenu during Delta Omega Zeta Rush during the second semester, and he has become one of my best friends. He’s from Chicago, and we have the most amazing conversations about how amazing college is. And there’s Elton who always hangs out with us. The three of us dream about the future because we know there is so much that life has to offer. Shohani is one of my best friends at the school; I met her at orientation and we get along really well because we have similar interests and we love to dance haha. Of course my suitemates as well, they are amazing! Deborah is a kid at heart. She makes me smile because she reminds me of life’s innocence, which is what we lose as we grow older. Aileen, who will be my roommate next year, is an overall fun person. And then there’s Liz, Alyssa, and Anjani. Spontaneous like no other! They make life so exciting and we go on the most random adventures ever. James talks to me about God and truth, things I have not thought about in years. He helps me realize there is more to life than just school and being pre-med, and although we have goals and ambitions, we can’t miss out on what God has to offer us in life. And of course, there is Gabe, who I believe is one of the most talented individuals I have ever met. As a serious violinist during my high school, junior high, and elementary school years, there have been talented musicians that I have met throughout my childhood. However, who makes the music? People like Gabe do. I can see him going far in music, and he never ceases to amaze me with his musical talent. He’s just a really interesting person, far from typical. And then I met Alex at the end of the year. At first I thought he was a typical frat boy, but there’s so much more to him. He is smart, cute, nice, and so much more. I think it’s safe to say that I messed things up with him, but who knows what will happen in the fall? I was too hot and cold with him, and I think it was the same for him when it came to me, so we can only see where fate will take us. My mom always tells me, what’s yours will be yours. So if it’s meant to happen, I have nothing to worry about right? All I can say is I miss him right now.

If there is one thing I regret from this year, it is not studying more for biology. Biology is the hardest subject for me. But I try to live life without regrets. I know that as a result of not studying to my full potential, I got to experience a side of life I had never experienced before.

The sad part is, this year went by way too fast. Which is the way college is supposed to be, I heard. It goes to show that life is just too short to get hung up over things like grades, relationship failures, arguments with your friends, etc. Enjoy what you have. These four years of college will be over before you know it.

“Nobody said it was easy.”

Yes, I’m still listening to the song. A Scientist experiments, tries new things, makes conclusions. I will continue to be a Scientist for the rest of my life so I can expand my knowledge and gain new experiences.

Things to do this summer: Ponder life and God. Go to school. Read. Be with my friends at home. Go to the gym. Learn to cook.

Stay active.

This summer, it’s me, school, and Chenu. Time to chillax before another crazy year.

Things have been SO crazy. Story of a pre-med. I feel like there is so much work to do ALL the time. It’s never-ending. Honestly, I have friends who are business, music industry, communication, etc. majors, basically non-science, and it always seems like they have it so easy! (Except architecture students, they have it the hardest out of all the majors at this school!) It’s like every time a mid-term ends, we have to start studying for another one! All the other majors seem like they can just party and celebrate afterwards, and not study till like three days before the next mid-term. IT’S RIDICULOUS. Yeah, so I’m venting right now about how crazy life has been. I still haven’t found my perfect balance of fun and work. It’s like every time I decide to have fun I seem to overdo it and end up paying hell for it later through lack of sleep or bad grades. The last 3 nights I’ve been up till either 5 AM or 3 AM, WHEN WILL THIS END. I thought college was supposed to be fun. And I have a stupid boy on my mind and can’t focus either. I have never let a boy interfere with my studies. It’s so annoying! I wish for once my college life would feel perfectly balanced and that I would actually enjoy it. I’m extremely scared of burning out; I heard it’s pretty common for pre-meds…

My first entry on wordpress was not about me, so I think I should take the time to introduce myself! What better way than to start with…

1. First thing you wash in the shower? Hair.
2. What color is your favorite hoodie? Gray.
3. Do you like coffee? Yes.
5. How are you feeling RIGHT now? Chill.
6. What’s the last letter of your crush’s name? T. That would be Robert Pattinson. Haha just kidding but I don’t have a crush on someone I actually know.
7. Do you say aim or a-i-m? Aim.
8. Tell me about the last dream you remember having. I was on a boat with several people on a gorgeous, shining blue lake, the place I have visited several times in my dreams.
9. Could you eat your favorite food everyday for a month and not get sick of it? Yes.
10. What are you craving? Cookies. I can smell them baking in the oven right now.
11. Do you floss? Yes.
12. What comes to mind when I say cabbage? Cabbage patch kids.
13. Have you ever counted to 1,000? Nope.
14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it? Lick.
15. Do you use smileys? Yup.
16. How many bedrooms are in your house? I live in a dormitory.
17. Have you ever met a celebrity? Nope.
18. Do you like cottage cheese? It’s alright.
19. What’s the last song you had stuck in your head? River flows in you, by Yiruma. It’s beautiful. Listen to it.
20. How many countries have you visited? Two.
21. Are your parents strict? Not really.
22. Would you go sky diving? Maybe.
23. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush? Haha sure.
24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you’re in? Yes.
25. Do you rent movies? Not anymore. I don’t have a television.
26. Who sits in front of you in your math class? I have not had math class yet.
27. Where are you going to be Saturday night? In my room. Maybe chillin with BJ. Probably doing laundry, cleaning my room, and getting organized.
28. Brown or white eggs? Doesn’t matter. Either works.
29. Like rap music? Yup!
30. Ever taken a train? Yes.
31. Experienced the twin towers falling in New York? No. I watched it on television though.
32. What day of the week is it? Thursday.
33. What was your Lunch? Chow mein and salmon.
34. What is your best friend doing tomorrow? Probably going to class haha.
35. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect? Nope.
36. So, how about them Yankees? I don’t follow baseball.
37. Is your hair curly? No.
38. Last time you cried? Last month.
39. Ever walked into a wall? Yup, haha.
40. Have you ever bought anything from PacSun? Yes. A shirt.
41. Favorite season? Summer.
42. The next person you’ll hold hands with? I’ll let you know when it happens. So far I have no idea.
43. Do you sleep with the TV on? No haha I don’t have one!
44. Have you ever drank alcohol straight from the bottle? Nope.
45. Do you think you’re old? Not quite… getting there though.
46. Are you afraid of the dark? Nope.
47. Do you like your life right now? Haha yeah I’m on vacation!
48. When’s the last time you chose a bath over a shower? Haha a couple years ago I think.
49. Do you knock on wood? Haha sometimes.
50. Do you have good vision? Define that.
51. Can you hula hoop? Hardly. I used to be good at it though.
52. Where are your parents? I don’t know.
53. Have you ever kissed in an elevator? Nope.
54. What is the next CD you will buy? Haha I don’t know. I’d rather buy individual songs.
55. What brands are you wearing? None that are famous. I’m snug in my pajamas.
56. Have you ever crawled through a window? No haha how random.
57. Can you handle the truth? I think so.
58. What was the most recent thing you bought? A cupcake.
59. How often do you talk on the phone? Everyday hahaha.
60. Are you in a complicated relationship? No haha.
61. Do you hate more than 3 people? No, I don’t hate anyone.
62. Have you ever tripped someone? Yeah haha.
63. Do you use chap stick? Yes!
64. Are you too forgiving? Haha yeah.
65. Do you own something from Hot Topic? Haha no!
66. Do you own a gun? No.
67. Have you made a prank phone call? No.
68. Have you ever been in a castle? Nope. That’d be nice though!
69. Do you like your hair? Sure.
70. Do you like yourself? Yup!
71. Are you closer to your mother or father? I’m close to both.
72. Do you chat on AIM often? Yes.

Oprah’s Best Life segment concerning Spirituality has inspired me to take the time to write down my own personal thoughts on spirituality. During my time at USC, I would not hesitate to say that I have spent the most time ever pondering spirituality, religion, and most importantly, truth. My new friend that lives down the hallway from me, James, has spent much time patiently discussing the search for truth with me, something I have not seriously considered in the past. He urges me to find truth, rather than religion, so that I will feel more fulfilled in life and have a more thorough understanding of myself.

The Spirituality segment on Oprah showed, in my opinion, a clear division between spirituality and religion. Spirituality was described to be the acceptance of oneself, to be happy with what you have and to make the most of it. Given the current conditions set by God, or whatever you may refer to as the divine power, one must learn to accept himself or herself.

In the media, we have seen countless stories of the disabled and the ill. Which stories are the ones that truly stay with us as we find ourselves in awe and inspiration? It is the stories in which those who have gone through what we would normally call “bad times” find themselves in true self-acceptance and bliss that make us smile in approval and support. It is not because we feel bad for them, no, that has so little to do with it. It is that we see people who have it so much harder than we do and yet can find more fulfillment and happiness in their lives. Their level of spirituality and self-identity is beyond what most people can grasp.

Perhaps our purpose in life is to feel fulfilled. Perhaps it is to gain that sense of spirituality within us in which we completely accept ourselves and believe that our spirit is as beautiful as beauty allows it to be. The appreciation of self is something many do not have in this world. When things go wrong, we always tend to look at what is wrong rather than appreciate what we still have. We forget to stop to think and figure out why such a situation occurred and the purpose of its happening, whether it is to get us to appreciate something more greatly or to teach us a lesson. In times of hardship, we must be thankful for what we have and to find the good of the current situation rather than waste our energy on anger. Through such actions, we learn to accept the wonderful world and what God has given us for what it is, and eventually, as an entity in this magnificent world, we will learn to appreciate ourselves as well.